Body Shaming and Compassion

This blog is going to be quick and dirty.

This article has been going around:

I was the so called unhealthy fat woman at the Cardinals game.

Here are screen shots of the Shark Fitness Training Facebook page updates in response to their post (I screen captured rather than linked as I’m sure more posts will be deleted):

This man gets defensive about being called a bully and “somewhere between Stalin and Hitler.” Yes, that last part is hyperbole, because people get on the internet and act like raging dicks. But he absolutely is a bully.

You don’t spread a message of care and concern by posting an anonymous picture of another human being and saying then denigrating her or him. Shame does NOT drive people to do better in life. Shame will not change the inner workings of human psychology. Only a solid dose of true compassion can do that.

This guy showed his true colors in the way he doubled down on his statement. They way he cited his supporters. The way he tried to turn the message around to “but it’s because I care so much.”

When you are dealing with people, whether you like it or not, you’re dealing with psychology. As a training and a coach, I’m not just working with people’s physical vehicles, I’m working with their self image, their relation to their body, their emotions around movement, food, and societal and familial pressures. I’m trying to create a safe space where we can get to nuts and bolts and help their self talk.

Because a person’s best coach is the person that stares back at them in the mirror. That’s who I want to reach.

I hope this guy learns something from this fiasco, but based on his double-down statuses and the way he apologized, I don’t think it will come around anytime soon.

For more about how to reach out to other in a positive and truly caring way, visit